Which Pronoun?

Do you ever get corrected when you say “him and I” or “Joe and me”? People are frequently confused about the proper use of direct and indirect object pronouns, especially because half the people they listen to and model are wrong.

Here’s how to get it right.

Don’t worry about what part of speech you’re using and whether it’s direct or indirect. That’s too much analysis. Just try this simple “equation.”

Subtract one person out of the sentence. Let’s say you want to tell someone that you and some guy named Billy Bob went to the opera.

You have four choices:

A. Billy Bob and me went to the opera.

B. Me and Billy Bob went to the opera.

C. Billy Bob and I went to the opera.

D. I and Billy Bob went to the opera.

Two of these are grammatically correct. Which one would you use?

The correct usages are C and D.

How do you know? Subtract one of the subjects: Leave Billy Bob out of it for a minute. Would you say “Me went to the movies”? No, unless you were Tarzan, you would say “I went to the movies.” Therefore, I is the correct pronoun to use in this case. While both C and D are correct, most people find C sounds better to the ear.

Now, let’s say someone gave you the opera tickets. Again, you have four choices:

E. Zerelda gave me and Billy Bob opera tickets.

F. Zerelda gave Billy Bob and me opera tickets.

G. Zerelda gave Billy Bob and I opera tickets.

H. Zerelda gave I and Billy Bob opera tickets.

Again, leave Billy Bob at home. Would you say “Zerelda gave me the tickets” or “Zerelda gave I the tickets”? The answer on this one, which I’m sure you’ll find most apparent, is “me”; therefore E and F are the correct choices. Use whichever sounds best to your ear. I like E best.

You can use this same “equation” with he/him and she/her. For example, “He/him and Billy Bob gave she/her and Zerelda a lesson in grammar.” Can you pick the right pronoun?