I Swear!

I’ve long been fascinated by alternative swear words and exclamations. They strike me as more creative than the old standards. You hear them on TV; “Shut the front door!” is a popular one these days. I’m always delighted to hear new versions or old ones I’ve never heard.

Besides, I am mildly offended at foul language, especially the f word. When I hear such language, even if it’s not directed at me, I suffer a little discomfort and wince inwardly. Most people, of course, swear when they are angry or frustrated, and many think nothing of regularly peppering their speech with all kinds of “dirty words.”

But some feel more virtuous and try to find alternatives that are less vulgar. There is a long tradition of avoiding sin and vulgarity by pronouncing swear words slightly differently, such as “Dang!” and “Fudge!”

I’d much rather hear an assortment of more imaginative phrases than the same old crudity. From the old-fashioned and wholesome “Gee whiz!” to the visual “H-E-double hockey sticks!” to the oddball “Great Grandma’s Gravy!” and the nautical “Shiver me timbers!” -- there’s a lot to choose from.

Daylight Saving Time Doesn’t Move the Earth

If I believe all the TV newscasters, this weekend I lost an hour of sleep, but I’m gaining an extra hour of daylight. I don’t believe it.

For one thing, I could have gone to bed at any time on Saturday night and still slept 8 hours or as long as I wanted, regardless of what time it was.

Also, the Earth is still moving around the sun and rotating on its axis at the same rates it was a day or two ago. It hasn’t suddenly changed its path, started moving faster during the night or slowed down during the day.

We do not gain an hour of sunlight in daylight saving time, we merely change our clocks so that the sun appears to come up and set later than it usually does.

It’s not enough to lose sleep over.

Redundancies

Almost every day I hear random redundancies come out of people’s mouths. I’m quite sure I use them too, so I’m not totally criticizing here. But they catch my ear.

One of them is the ubiquitous “3 a.m. in the morning.” (This one I do not use.) When I hear it, I always mutter, “What, as opposed to 3 a.m. in the evening?” A.M. indicates morning, so there is no need to add further description of the time of day. Either 3 a.m. or 3 in the morning will suffice.

I’ve been hearing a lot of “small little” lately. I keep hearing a local lawyer commercial that mentions the “small little check” you’ll get from the insurance company if you don’t use the lawyer’s services. I believe the intent here is emphasis: The check is smaller than small. But, really, small and little mean the same thing, don’t they? Why not emphasize with a word like tiny or a phrase like awfully small”? You could even use the oxymoronic enormously small.

One phrase I’ve railed against for a long time is “and also.” Technically, these words are two different parts of speech and there is no redundancy here. And is a conjunction and also is an adverb. And indicates a connection or addition. Also means besides or likewise. If you look up also on the Merriam-Webster online dictionary, the first example of the use of also includes and: “She’s a talented singer and also a fine actress.” Again, emphasis.

But why use both? Why not: “She’s a talented singer and a fine actress.” Also just seems like an unnecessary addition.

Do these phrases sound as odd and wrong to you as they do to me? What phrases make you cringe?