Idiosyncrasy or verbal crutch?

The disclaimer: Yep, I use a couple of these myself, without even thinking about it. And it must stop.

Have you ever noticed people peppering their speech with useless or even erroneously used words and phrases? Do you think it’s colorful or just annoying?

 I’m talking about things like:

·         “Actually.”

Example:  “So, I actually called the phone company, and I actually complained about my bill. And then, they actually told me that my bill was correct.”

People carelessly throw this word in to modify their verbs all the time, as if you wouldn’t believe they actually did what they said they were doing. But it would work so much better in moderation and in cases where the action was outrageous. For instance, “So, I actually got on a banana boat going down the Limpopo River and I actually fell out, and then a water buffalo actually tried to eat me.” Then again, it would work just fine without the actuallys.

·         “You know what I mean”? Also, “You know what I’m sayin’?” or simply “You know?”

Example: “So, I was over at the place, you know? And those guys, they were all [gestures], you know what I mean?”

This is especially heinous when the person is telling you a story about something that happened to them while you were not present, or explaining something that you are not familiar with. No, actually, I don’t know what you mean. That’s why you’re explaining it to me.

·         “Like” and “all”

Example: “So, like, this dog comes running up to me, and I’m all, like, you know, and it’s all snarlin’ and I’m like, ‘dude’!”

While this communication can be fairly clear in person due to the addition of facial expressions and gestures, can it really be called communication? There is so little meaning in it.

·         “Literally”

Example: “Like, that movie literally blew me away.”

Um, no it didn’t.  They have not yet invented the technology by which a movie can exert enough wind power to physically move you into the next county.

See plenty of real-life examples of this nonsense on Literally, A Web Log.

·         “So….”

Example: “Well, yes, I do find myself using these words erroneously from time to time, so….”

You hear this all the time stuck on the end of a sentence with an audible ellipsis, as if the speaker would like you to make some inference about his or her point. Or maybe the speaker is just afraid of the inevitable silence that would occur after he or she is done speaking and feels the need to throw in one last syllable to help fill the emptiness.

So….

You know what I’m sayin’?

Unconnected

The disclaimer: This blog is most decidedly colored by the mental state one can get into when one is unemployed.

I believe I’m not the first to suggest that this globally connected world is not so connected. We are losing sight of each other.

When we drive, all that metal and rubber between us makes it easy to lose sight of the fact that all the cars around us contain at least one human being each. The enclosure of the car is isolating. We get mad at others for their driving habits, and since we see ourselves as “alone,” we do and say things we wouldn’t if we were face to face with each other. We yell obscenities, call people names and make gestures. Some people feel so alone in their cars, they get dressed or undressed.

Online, we chat with each other, “connect” with each other on social media, tweet at each other, but it’s easy to lose sight of the fact that there is a live person on the other side. For instance, I’m sitting here totally alone, posting some ramblings where others will be able to read them. I have to stop to think about the handful of real people who may actually read this [Hi, friends!].

In the modern job search, something I’ve been muddling through, job seekers send letters and resumes to what is now commonly called the “black hole.” Online applications systems make it easy for companies to accept resumes and easy for applicants to submit. But frequently, there’s no actual connection made between people -- sometimes a computer reads the application and decides that it is not worthy of sending on to a human.

The answer in this last example is to network. Maybe I can meet somebody online….

The Devolution of Handwriting

I’m sure you’ve read (probably in the neat, sans-serif lettering of digitized print) that cursive writing and penmanship are on the decline. That, indeed, some schools have even stopped teaching cursive writing because it is so useless. That except perhaps for calligraphy hobbyists, everyone’s penmanship, not just doctors’, is rapidly waning.

Perhaps like me, you still have some use for writing by hand. I write birthday cards, thank you cards, and grocery and to-do lists, and I even wrote this blog by hand first. But even with that small bit of practice, I must admit that my penmanship is declining. It’s not bad, mind you, and some have called my writing “neat.” But it’s not like it used to be.

I have looked down with shock on notes I’ve written to myself, not knowing exactly what I was trying to tell myself. Of course, as I write, I’m trying to get it all down before my memory gives up in exhaustion on my racing brain. So I use abbreviations and scribble hastily. But even if I am attempting to calmly write out a nice note to someone, the once-neat script sometimes begins to go rogue.

My logical brain says, yes, let’s unburden the school curriculum with such an archaic and pointless thing as writing in cursive, which people are using less and less, and fill its place with something like more reading comprehension or math, which are far more valuable.

Still it saddens me. What will be the societal ramifications if cursive writing des out completely? How will handwriting analysis experts make a living? People who know how to read cursive will join the ranks of those who can read Egyptian hieroglyphics.

And if my own handwriting continues to devolve, perhaps I’ll need one of those hieroglyph experts.

Stick Your Apostrophes Where They Belong

The Disclaimer: I have been an English teacher and am currently a professional writer and editor --though an unemployed one -- so you weigh the evidence.

Have you forgotten the difference between a plural, a possessive and a contraction? Are you unsure about when to use an apostrophe and where to stick it? Your misuse of apostrophes could cause undesirable consequences for you, not the least of which is being made fun of on the internet.

If you or someone you know is an apostrophe abuser, take these steps now:

1.       Admit you have a problem.

2.       Learn how to form a plural.

Plural means there is more than one of something. Usually, plurals add an s to the end of a word, without an apostrophe. The only time a plural uses an apostrophe is in an awkward case.

For example, you want to say there is more than one s in a word: There were two s’s. This is so awkward, you probably want to skip the plural altogether and just stick with “more than one s.”

When in doubt with a plural, just leave the apostrophe at home. SUVs is better than SUV’s because the latter might be confused with a possessive. I can’t stand driving by a mechanic’s shop with a sign out front that says he services SUV’s. You service SUV’swhat? See next step.

3.       Learn how to form a possessive.

A possessive means something belongs to somebody or something else. Usually, a possessive uses an apostrophe and an s. SUV’s, for example, means something that belongs to SUV, such as the SUV’s engine.

If the word is plural but doesn’t end in an s, like women, still use an apostrophe and an s: Where is the women’s room? If the word is plural and ends in an s, you’re going to have to put the apostrophe at the end: The dogs’ kennels are dirty.

I see you’re confused now. Just move on to the next step when you’re ready.

4.       Learn how to form a contraction.

A contraction is two words smashed together, with the missing letters replaced by an apostrophe. For example, don’t is do and not shoved together. See how the o in not disappeared and there’s an apostrophe there instead? It’s a place holder, like the seat fillers at the Academy Awards. Here, Mister O, I’ll sit here and make it look like the auditorium is full while you get a drink.

To use an apostrophe correctly in a contraction, figure out where the missing letter or letters would be if the words were all spelled out, and stick the apostrophe there.

5.       Recognize what you have done and make amends.

Now go out and fix your signs and websites. If you’re making these kinds of mistakes as a business owner, you’re getting bad publicity. And next time, consider hiring an editor. There are plenty of out-of-work editors who need jobs.

Lee Pace and Real Acting

The Disclaimer: Now, I may be getting all critical here about actors and maybe one actor in particular, but that’s not to say that I actually know what I’m talking about. Yes, I’ve been there myself, most un-notably in the fifth grade musical and the college one-act festival. But no, I was not good.

Lee Pace is seriously underrated. Do you know him? He doesn’t usually show up on magazine covers and entertainment news, but he is a talented and versatile actor.

I first saw him in the whimsical and wry TV series Pushing Daisies. I guess that show was underrated, too, because after one magical season, it was cancelled. Anyway, his boy-next-door charm caught my attention and I began to actively “look out for him.”

I next saw him in a film called Infamous, about a murder case that inspired Truman Capote’s book In Cold Blood. I did not immediately recognize him. This, to me, is the sign of a good actor – not knowing it’s the same person from movie to movie.

The last thing I saw with Lee (I hope he doesn’t mind he’s on a first-name basis with me) was Soldier’s Girl. By this time, I knew in advance he was in the film because I chose to watch the film based on his casting. Otherwise, I would have been scratching my head the whole time thinking, gee, that person looks familiar – who is that?

I say person, because Lee plays a beautiful transgendered woman who looks pretty convincingly feminine (especially in the shot that displays her bare chest). Not only is the appearance convincing (good on you, make-up department) but his performance is convincing.

Now, some actors play a leading man, an action hero, a cop and another action hero. Good for them, they’re getting good work. Some actors seem to play themselves, only [fill in adjective here]. Al Pacino, for instance, in Insomnia seems to be playing Al Pacino, only tired.

Of course actors bring at least parts of themselves into a role. It can’t be helped. And that’s why certain actors are cast over others. But to embody another soul, to be truly different in each role and so disappear into that role that you don’t realize who you are watching -- now, that’s acting.

The Disclaimer

This blog posting is one big disclaimer.

From here on out, this blog will be irregular and unclassifiable. There’s no set topic. It’s undisciplined and unscheduled. Even the tone may vary. You might expect to find musings on books, movies and popular culture. You might find a semi-serious discourse on a concept such as creativity. You might find a lesson in grammar. Who knows? I certainly don’t.

I might suggest that this blog may not be for you. Seriously, you may not like it. You may be bored or you may think it’s a stupid waste of your time. You may even be offended, though it won’t be by any bad language or inflammatory ideas, because I tend to not use either. So, find a better blog somewhere and read that instead. Or, if you must, subscribe to this one. Suit yourself. You’ve been warned.